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When I was younger, I was always a bit ashamed to be a ‘larger chested’ woman, but my mum used to joke about with me and tell me if I’ve got it, I should flaunt it. So one day I thought what the hell!! This is not to say I turned into the local streaker (not quite anyway) but I thought why should I hide what I have been naturally given?? Why should I be embarrassed about it? Most women pay thousands to have a set like mine haha (don’t worry there is a point coming!). As soon as I started ‘flaunting’ I found that I could definitely use it to my advantage. Whether it be wearing a lower cut top when I was in a club so I’d get more drinks bought for me, or so I’d get my cheesy chips free lol. I will also freely admit, that at times, I still will use what I have, if the need arises.
When I asked my opinionators, the girls seemed to have more of an idea as to what I was getting at as Katy showed when she said “I’ve used the fact that I’m a girl to get what I want lol, simple things like getting a discount on getting my car fixed. When I worked in the bar, if I was a bit short of cash then yeah, I’d wear a low-cut top to make more tips! As they say ‘if you got it, flaunt it!’ If no one’s getting hurt and you’re not putting yourself in danger, then yeah, why not?!” Emma also knew what I was getting at, ” I have, yes, when I was younger – ok ‘if you got it……’ but a long as it is what it is and not in a malicious way and not if it leaves you feeling cheap”. When it came to the guys though, I’m not sure if they understood completely. Ash seemed a little confused, “I’m not aware if I have or not?? But I’m told I’m a flirt alot anyway, erm, I suppose I’ve flirted with people I don’t fancy just ’cause’ – if that counts?? Paul was getting closer to what I meant, “Kinda, I was sleeping with the receptionist that got me onto my uni course. I did continue seeing her for a while after though. Aaron definitely was on the ball though, “Haha – yes and yes it worked! I can’t say I disagree because I’d be a hypocrite“. I’d like to know what it was he did though haha!! So, it would seem that everyone I had asked so far, had at some point, used their sexuality for their own gain and not seen a problem with it. Nothing bad had come from it, so why shouldn’t we??? It was good to know that there are a few people out there with their morals still intact…….Marie said “No, I’ve never used my sexuality to get what I want, at least I’m sure I haven’t and I don’t agree with it either!”. Without sounding ageist, I wondered whether her opinion was down to the way she was brought up and the generation but then Kelly who was brought up in a different generation seemed to agree with her, “I don’t agree with using our sexuality to get what we want because it gives us a name, unlike men who can do what they like and be ‘the man’ for doing it”.
Age is not an issue, but it would seem that women are more tuned into their own sexuality, and know how to use it. Is that such a bad thing?? If no one is getting hurt?? You’re not placing yourself in any danger??? They always say look after number one, and that’s all we are doing, surely??? Men, I would say, rely more on their mental abilities to get what they want (if you disagree please feel free to let me know). Who is really at fault though, the person using their sexuality……….or the person who falls for it??? Just food for thought…….
This question was aimed at my girly opinionators, but as I was reading through what they had said, it seemed slightly unfair to the guys. So I posed a separate question to them, which you will find out as you read on.
When I first thought of this subject, I admit, that my idea of ‘man sex’ is unemotional. In some cases unattached, though I know that that’s not always the case. What surprised me more though, is that most of the women seemed to be on the same kind of page as me. Emotions were the first thing Kelly mentioned, “Womens emotions are completely different to mens……men can walk away and not have any emotion where as women get attached quickly with any sort of connection to members of the opposite sex. So my answer is NO!”. Even Emma brought up emotions, “I think some women say they can but this is just a front. I think, actually, that women can’t have sex without emotional attachment”. So are men all unemotional sex machines??????? I felt the need to speak to the men……..so atleast they could defend themselves. I asked them if they could quite happily have unattached and unemotional sex???
Kev made me chuckle with a straight, to the point answer, “YES”. Where as Paul gave me food for thought, I would say yes, the same way a female can. The type that like to use are a prime example”. He was joined in this thinking by Liz, “Depends on the woman”.
It would seem then, that it would all come down to emotions.
Emotion = A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling.
From speaking to the women, it really does sound like we think when it comes to men and sex, we think that they can quite happily switch their emotions off, as and when they like. But why can’t us girlies do the same?? Maybe Kate has the answer, “I don’t think women can have sex like men, unemotional, its something to do with the chemicals in our brain, that we feel an emotional connection with that person. Although I would have no idea, as I have only ever been with my hubby!”. Do we really have our brains wired differently? Without speaking to Drs and such, that’s not something I can comment on ( but definitely something I would love to research more! ). One thing did spring into my mind whilst thinking about it all though. What if men are just better at hiding their emotions, at putting them to one side as such? What if it’s not a case of not feeling the emotion, but more of being able to ignore them?? What if they don’t want to been seen as having ‘girly sex’ and being TOO emotional about it??? It seems to be a catch 22 situation, damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Well, if you’re a man it would seem so. If you show no emotion, you’re classed as an emotionless user, and too much, you’re too girly. Maybe this would explain a lot???? Or maybe it’s not even Man vs Woman, it’s Person vs Person, regardless of age and sex. It all boils down to the type of person you are.
I will say this though, women have a very defined idea when it comes to men and sex, whether it’s right or wrong and if men are unhappy with this and want to disagree with how us women think…….maybe they should show a bit of emotion and stand up for themselves haha!
As Marie says, Yes, I defo think women can have sex like a man for sure. Why not I say!!” Maybe she has the right idea!!
Maybe we should all just have sex exactly how we want to have it. Full of emotion or with a complete lack of it. And if you’re moaning over it ( or NOT as the case may be hehe ) you’re obviously just not having it with the right person!
Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. This is a saying I have heard ever since I was young. It’s also a saying that I’ve always believed. Men and women are definitely from different planets, in my eyes. So it got me to thinking about how much their views vary on different subjects or not in some cases and, how I could spread the word to the rest of the world…….and maybe one day, just maybe, we can start to understand the opposite sex and how their minds work???
The first thing that came to mind was friendship between men and women. Can they be friends? Best friends? How do different kinds of relationships affect them? Can we be ‘just good friends’ (JGF), without complications? These are questions that never seems to have any definitive answer, so I thought maybe it was time to try and find one! So I asked my group of ‘opinionators’ what they thought…
I started by looking up the definition of the word friend. The first one I found was perfect for this subject.
Friend = A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
We all have friends of the same sex. People that we just hang out with, share our secrets with and just enjoy being around, but are there any other motives involved?? This brings me to the first ‘opinionator’. A 31 year old women, Emma. When I asked her if men and women can be ‘JGF’ she said “In some cases, yes, but not if there is ‘more’ to it eg; a confidence booster, a back up plan. Then it can ruin relationships”. This was pretty much the same opinion of the first male I asked. 23 year old, Ash, said “Yes, but only if there is no ulterior motive”. I think we all know what the ulterior motive really means……..SEX!!
Sex seems to be the one thing that keeps coming up, in most peoples opinions. The most honest being from a 34 year old male, Paul, who plainly stated, “Not if they have already f**ked”. I was slightly shocked at this, but maybe there’s a point there. Because looking through all the information everyone gave me, it all comes down to sexual attraction. 30 year old Liz said “Yes, they can be friends, as long as there’s no sexual feelings between them” and 22 year old, Kelly, pretty much agreed but added the ‘best friend’ into the mix when she said “I do believe you can have male friends and not be sexually attracted to them but being best mates, where you see them all the time, would bring out emotions and be put into false hope”. Does this mean that you can only be friends with someone of the opposite sex if you don’t find them attractive? Do they have to be ‘ugly’, in your eyes, to be your friend?? Do looks really come into it?
They say that when you meet someone, you make an opinion of them in the first 3 seconds of meeting them. This will obviously include how they look. My favourite answer of them all, came from 30 year old, Aaron. “Yes, cause it’s not like we all find every single person on the planet attractive”. It seems to me, to hit the nail right on the head. Now everyone has different opinions on whether someone is attractive or not, but when it comes down to it, plain and simple, everyone does agree on one thing. You can’t be friends with the opposite sex if you find them attractive in any way. Cause at some point sex will come up and as 44 year old Kev says, “Sex gets in the way of friendship”.
There was only one person though that did give me a slight ray of hope and that was Kate, a 30 year old mum of 3. “Yes, men and women can be friends. One of my best mates is a man. There is no other connection between us than just friends, as there would be between me and one of my girlfriends”.
So, it would seem that when it comes to the opinion of ‘Can men and women be just good friends, that men and women, regardless of age, actually seem to agree on this one. Yes, it is possible to be friends….as long as there is no sexual attraction between them. So girls and boys, if your looking for a friend in the opposite sex, just make sure you don’t fancy the pants off them!!
** I would like to state that anything posted in this blog, is of personal opinions, and in no way mean to cause any offence to anyone. My point, as the title says, is to tell is the way YOU see it. People are giving me their thoughts and I am just sharing them.**