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Ahhhhh the age-old question……Do you follow your heart or your head?? I don’t think there will ever be an answer to that one, but how about this?? When you fall in love, is it your heart or your head you lose?? We all shout it from the roof tops when we fall in love and lose our heart to someone, but are never quite so willing to admit when we lose our head over someone. But is it the same thing?  I know from past experience I have lost my head in so many different ways when in love. Yet I am happy to admit this, as it helps me, and maybe others, to learn from those mistakes! Because it’s not just when it’s over that we lose our minds, as most people would probably assume.  So how many people would admit to it? or is this just going to be another ‘love myth’??

Aaron started it off and made me chuckle when he admitted to what he had done in the past, ” God I have done so many ridiculous things! The worst was recording a song with a friend and sending it to a girl! I still cringe!!”. Where as Paul said ” I’ve only lost my head when I was cheated on”. Which goes with what I was saying about, how we freely admit to loosing our heads when something bad happens in the relationship. Ash brought up the clichés, that we all think about, “Lost my head?? I’ve certainly never done the ‘running through an airport’ cliché, if that’s what you mean?  And I can’t actually think of any stupid things I have done. Although I’m sure I have!”.  Selective memory there I think Ash lol! Stuu, though, got straight to the point….and a good point at that, “Both, otherwise you’re not in love”. 

The girls, as usual, seemed to have a bit more to say on the matter. Kate started off, “I think, to a point, we all loose our heads when we fall in love. All that matters is that one person. Nothing else.”  Liz backed this up, and was open about her mistakes, “I’ve lost my head while in love, AND lots of money! I took a loan out for an ex, bought him a car and got a mobile contract for him, in my name!! – DOH!!” I can think of a stronger word than Doh Liz! So love must affect our heads, not just our hearts. Emma brought up a scarier side to the matter, “I stayed in a rocky relationship that turned abusive – I married the guy as he promised it was all pre-marital nerves and stress – 4 months into the marriage, I kicked his sorry ass outta the home and am divorcing him as we speak!”  This goes to show how loosing our heads, can actually be quite dangerous for us, when we’re in love. Kelly told another story of how it can not always be a good thing, “I believe our hearts over rides our heads, very easily. I’ve gone against my whole family to be with someone who completely disrespected me but I was too blind to see it ’cause I fell for the lies he told me”. 

Everyone seems to be in agreement over this one, that you can and do loose your head when you’re in love. We all seem to agree too that it’s not actually a good thing! Is it not bad enough that we are giving our hearts away, that we end up loosing our rationality too! I guess it shows a dangerous side to love, and just proves that we need to keep our wits about us!

We all want to fall in love (don’t we??) and we see it as all flowers and hearts, and indeed it can be. But from the people I have spoken to, it’s made me realise that it’s one thing to give your heart away but a completely different thing to give your mind away. This isn’t to put a downer on love though. ‘Cause, c’mon. It’s lovely to be in love……..as long as you manage to keep your head 😉


The dreaded day is finally upon us! To say I’m not a fan of Valentines Day would be the understatement of the year!! The way I see it is that it is a day that makes the single people feel completely worthless, the people in rubbish relationships try and pretend that things are perfect for 24 hours and those who are genuinally in love, know that you don’t need to take one day out of the year just to show your love to someone, there’s another 364 day’s you can do that (and should be!)  I could go on and on about this subject, but I won’t bore everyone. Maybe I’m just bitter cause I’m on my own this year?? Maybe I’m getting cynical with age??? Or maybe I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking!!

Liz obviously agreed with me when she said “against valentines day… it shouldnt take a certain day to tell the person u love that u love them…cards, flowers, chocs blah blah blah…what happened to romance?”  and the same with Marie, “Valentines day I dont feel is anything special at all cuz its just one day where you are supposed to show your partner how much u care but I think that should be done every day if you really love someone, I myself dont need valentines day to show Phil how much I love him Im always telling him, and he is the same way with me, and thats how it should be”. Maybe that’s just us girls though? Maybe we want romance every day of the year. So what do the men think? The first guy I asked was Paul, and as usual, his answer never failed to make me chuckle, “For, its nice to go out plus valentines sex is gooood!!!!!!!” . So is it just about the sex for men? Or do some of them agree with me? “Against in that a ‘hallmark’ holiday shouldn’t dictate when you show your love” said Aaron, who seems to be on my wave length. So I’ve heard the for and against ( although only one person is actually for at the moment ). But what did the others think? ” Valentines day is cute and endearing, a great opportunity to show someone you care….but it is also very commercial, money making and could easily get people into trouble!” said Emma, although I’m not sure what kind of trouble she meant?? Emma, I’d love to know more about that answer lol!!  Another person For Valentines was Kate, “im all for valentines…its a bit of fun. a chance to tell the person you love that you do love them. its no big deal if you dont get a card its just a laugh!!!”  and Kelly, “for… It reminds u of what you have as not always do u have time to go out. U don’t have to go all out to have a good day”.

It would seem then, that there doesn’t seem to be a majority answer. Each to their own I think, and much as I’m not a great fan, I can see why others do like the day. If it wasn’t taken so seriously then maybe I would find myself warming to the idea of Valentines, but I will never completely understand the point??? Why should you you have to have one day every year to shower your partner with gifts, love and affection? Why can’t we do that every single day?? What happened to good old romance? Maybe if we spent more time on treating our partners with the love and respect they deserve all year round, instead of trying to cram it all into one day, then maybe people wouldn’t have so many complaints about their relationships. True love knows no bounds……..this includes which day of the year it is!!!

 

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. This is a saying I have heard ever since I was young. It’s also a saying that I’ve always believed. Men and women are definitely from different planets, in my eyes. So it got me to thinking about how much their views vary on different subjects or not in some cases and, how I could spread the word to the rest of the world…….and maybe one day, just maybe, we can start to understand the opposite sex and how their minds work???
The first thing that came to mind was friendship between men and women. Can they be friends? Best friends? How do different kinds of relationships affect them? Can we be ‘just good friends’ (JGF), without complications? These are questions that never seems to have any definitive answer, so I thought maybe it was time to try and find one! So I asked my group of ‘opinionators’ what they thought…
I started by looking up the definition of the word friend. The first one I found was perfect for this subject.
Friend = A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
We all have friends of the same sex. People that we just hang out with, share our secrets with and just enjoy being around, but are there any other motives involved?? This brings me to the first ‘opinionator’. A 31 year old women, Emma. When I asked her if men and women can be ‘JGF’ she said “In some cases, yes, but not if there is ‘more’ to it eg; a confidence booster, a back up plan. Then it can ruin relationships”. This was pretty much the same opinion of the first male I asked. 23 year old, Ash, said “Yes, but only if there is no ulterior motive”. I think we all know what the ulterior motive really means……..SEX!!
Sex seems to be the one thing that keeps coming up, in most peoples opinions. The most honest being from a 34 year old male, Paul, who plainly stated, “Not if they have already f**ked”. I was slightly shocked at this, but maybe there’s a point there. Because looking through all the information everyone gave me, it all comes down to sexual attraction. 30 year old Liz said “Yes, they can be friends, as long as there’s no sexual feelings between them” and 22 year old, Kelly, pretty much agreed but added the ‘best friend’ into the mix when she said “I do believe you can have male friends and not be sexually attracted to them but being best mates, where you see them all the time, would bring out emotions and be put into false hope”. Does this mean that you can only be friends with someone of the opposite sex if you don’t find them attractive? Do they have to be ‘ugly’, in your eyes, to be your friend?? Do looks really come into it?
They say that when you meet someone, you make an opinion of them in the first 3 seconds of meeting them. This will obviously include how they look. My favourite answer of them all, came from 30 year old, Aaron. “Yes, cause it’s not like we all find every single person on the planet attractive”. It seems to me, to hit the nail right on the head. Now everyone has different opinions on whether someone is attractive or not, but when it comes down to it, plain and simple, everyone does agree on one thing. You can’t be friends with the opposite sex if you find them attractive in any way. Cause at some point sex will come up and as 44 year old Kev says, “Sex gets in the way of friendship”.
There was only one person though that did give me a slight ray of hope and that was Kate, a 30 year old mum of 3. “Yes, men and women can be friends. One of my best mates is a man. There is no other connection between us than just friends, as there would be between me and one of my girlfriends”.
So, it would seem that when it comes to the opinion of ‘Can men and women be just good friends, that men and women, regardless of age, actually seem to agree on this one. Yes, it is possible to be friends….as long as there is no sexual attraction between them. So girls and boys, if your looking for a friend in the opposite sex, just make sure you don’t fancy the pants off them!!

** I would like to state that anything posted in this blog, is of personal opinions, and in no way mean to cause any offence to anyone. My point, as the title says, is to tell is the way YOU see it. People are giving me their thoughts and I am just sharing them.**

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March 2017
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