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Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. This is a saying I have heard ever since I was young. It’s also a saying that I’ve always believed. Men and women are definitely from different planets, in my eyes. So it got me to thinking about how much their views vary on different subjects or not in some cases and, how I could spread the word to the rest of the world…….and maybe one day, just maybe, we can start to understand the opposite sex and how their minds work???
The first thing that came to mind was friendship between men and women. Can they be friends? Best friends? How do different kinds of relationships affect them? Can we be ‘just good friends’ (JGF), without complications? These are questions that never seems to have any definitive answer, so I thought maybe it was time to try and find one! So I asked my group of ‘opinionators’ what they thought…
I started by looking up the definition of the word friend. The first one I found was perfect for this subject.
Friend = A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
We all have friends of the same sex. People that we just hang out with, share our secrets with and just enjoy being around, but are there any other motives involved?? This brings me to the first ‘opinionator’. A 31 year old women, Emma. When I asked her if men and women can be ‘JGF’ she said “In some cases, yes, but not if there is ‘more’ to it eg; a confidence booster, a back up plan. Then it can ruin relationships”. This was pretty much the same opinion of the first male I asked. 23 year old, Ash, said “Yes, but only if there is no ulterior motive”. I think we all know what the ulterior motive really means……..SEX!!
Sex seems to be the one thing that keeps coming up, in most peoples opinions. The most honest being from a 34 year old male, Paul, who plainly stated, “Not if they have already f**ked”. I was slightly shocked at this, but maybe there’s a point there. Because looking through all the information everyone gave me, it all comes down to sexual attraction. 30 year old Liz said “Yes, they can be friends, as long as there’s no sexual feelings between them” and 22 year old, Kelly, pretty much agreed but added the ‘best friend’ into the mix when she said “I do believe you can have male friends and not be sexually attracted to them but being best mates, where you see them all the time, would bring out emotions and be put into false hope”. Does this mean that you can only be friends with someone of the opposite sex if you don’t find them attractive? Do they have to be ‘ugly’, in your eyes, to be your friend?? Do looks really come into it?
They say that when you meet someone, you make an opinion of them in the first 3 seconds of meeting them. This will obviously include how they look. My favourite answer of them all, came from 30 year old, Aaron. “Yes, cause it’s not like we all find every single person on the planet attractive”. It seems to me, to hit the nail right on the head. Now everyone has different opinions on whether someone is attractive or not, but when it comes down to it, plain and simple, everyone does agree on one thing. You can’t be friends with the opposite sex if you find them attractive in any way. Cause at some point sex will come up and as 44 year old Kev says, “Sex gets in the way of friendship”.
There was only one person though that did give me a slight ray of hope and that was Kate, a 30 year old mum of 3. “Yes, men and women can be friends. One of my best mates is a man. There is no other connection between us than just friends, as there would be between me and one of my girlfriends”.
So, it would seem that when it comes to the opinion of ‘Can men and women be just good friends, that men and women, regardless of age, actually seem to agree on this one. Yes, it is possible to be friends….as long as there is no sexual attraction between them. So girls and boys, if your looking for a friend in the opposite sex, just make sure you don’t fancy the pants off them!!
** I would like to state that anything posted in this blog, is of personal opinions, and in no way mean to cause any offence to anyone. My point, as the title says, is to tell is the way YOU see it. People are giving me their thoughts and I am just sharing them.**